Peevish Pen

Ruminations on reading, writing, rural living, retirement, aging—and sometimes cats. And maybe a border collie or other critters.

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Location: Rural Virginia, United States

I'm an elderly retired teacher who writes. Among my books are Ferradiddledumday (Appalachian version of the Rumpelstiltskin story), Stuck (middle grade paranormal novel), Patches on the Same Quilt (novel set in Franklin County, VA), Them That Go (an Appalachian novel), Miracle of the Concrete Jesus & Other Stories, and several Kindle ebooks.

Monday, April 14, 2014

CATastrophe Insurance

by Tanner the Kitty

Not long ago, I got another card that looks like me. This time it wasn't from my lawyer. It was from my CATastrophe insurance agent about my new condo.

I don't know what insurance is, but I think you have to have it if you own a condo.


Naturally, I read it right away. This is what the first page looks like.

 It is a little blurred, but it says this: 2014 Amendments to Original Policy. Renter's Rights:

1. For multi-hole tower
  • clean, safe, pretty
  • all for you
  • if shared with other cats, you have rights to top level
2. Toys
  • your toys will be replaced if stolen, lost, or removed by a cat
  • your toys may/should be cleaned or replaced as necessary by a human
Here is the second page. I think you can read it OK (except for the agent's signature):

I didn't know I had an original policy. But I do have a toy that is damaged. It is a toy rat that used to belong to Chloe. I pulled the tail off it because I like to carry the tail around separate. Nobody has replaced it yet.

And my art got knocked off when Jim-Bob and I had a little scuffle. It used to hang from a ceiling hook, but now it hangs from the ficus. I don't think it makes as good a statement here.

Somebody needs to put it back. It is now too close to my cat windchime that is also damaged because I pulled one of the little dangly kitties off it last year. 

As for having rights to the top level, that is not a problem with Dylan because he likes the second floor. But it is a big problem with Jim-bob when he comes in from his cat-work day shift in the pasture. Jim-Bob thinks because he is a working cat that he can just take over. See?

I try to trick him into thinking there is something outside that he needs to see, but that doesn't work.

He just stays put like he is king of the condo. Asking him to leave does no good.

He has no respect for me at all. Sometimes he sticks his tongue out at me.

Or he gives me the paw!

Sometimes we get into smack-fights. That was how my art got knocked down.

My agent needs to come investigate and maybe evict Jim-Bob from my condo before a CATastrophe happens..



Blogger CountryDew said...

That's hilarious.

1:09 PM  

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