I'm Bad—Again

Last night, I received this message from Scott Rice, the head honcho of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest:

Well, you've done it again. You are the winner of the Vile Puns Category of this year's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. Be prepared for a media storm (or not).

This is my entry (which you probably won't get unless you're an English major, an English teacher, or a fan of a particular old movie starring Warren Beatty and Natalie Wood):

Vowing revenge on his English teacher for making him memorize Wordsworth's "Intimations of Immortality," Warren decided to pour sugar in her gas tank, but he inadvertently grabbed a sugar substitute so it was actually Splenda in the gas.

Anyhow, this win cements my reputation as an internationally ranked bad writer. I've mentioned before my 1996 "Worst Western" win. Meanwhile, if you want to read all the 2008 winners in various categories, here they are. (You have to scroll way down to find mine.)

So far, there hasn't been a media storm. Not even a media drizzle.

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