Poop and Circumstance

A few days ago—during the really frigid weather—my 28-year-old mare Cupcake somehow added some appendages to her tail. It didn't take me long to figure what they were. Apparently when she pooped, four or five balls of manure immediately froze to her tail.

Cupcake is the one in back; Melody is the lead mare.

I thought about trying to remove the poopsicles, but they looked pretty well frozen to a section of her underneath tail hair. Plus how, exactly, would I do it? Just grab and go? Even wearing gloves, I didn't want to do that. For one thing, it would take several grabs. For another, Cupcake isn't known to be cooperative.

I posed the question to my Facebook friends thusly:

Any of my horsie friends know the best (and most humane) way to remove, er, "poopsicles" that are frozen onto a horse's tail without getting myself kicked into the next county?

And I received lots of answers, not all of them workable. Here are some:

• let em' thaw
• Google a solution... I hear you can find anything on the internet... LOL
• One of my friends who stables and owns a few horses says a bucket of hot water (and stand to the side) is the best way to get rid of poopsicles... the only problem is that you then have to towel dry the tail so it does not freeze solid.
• Maybe cut the tail off for the winter! :)
• This might be the season to braid the tails the way they do for horse shows!
• I go for the braiding. Or for tying up the tail so that it doesn't get in the way. It's warming up and those already there will melt.
• simply take canning salt and rub onto the offending attachments. ;) I recommend using old jersey gloves with a rubber glove liner to apply it. This works -- but if you prefer, an old towel dampened in white vinegar and salt solution also works -- though it tends to bleach the hair and dry it out a bit more.
• My mom said to try cowboy magic and brush it out.
• Cherry Bombs!!! Then Run!!

When I fed this evening, I inspected the poopsicles. They were pretty well tangled up. You can see one here:

I thought about slicking up her hair with Showsheen, which is a great detangler, and then combing them out. But the Showsheen was frozen. Then I decided to snip the strand of hair they were hanging from. I figured if I did it while she was scarfing up her dinner, she wouldn't notice. Since the snipped portion would be on the underside of her tail, the damage wouldn't show.

Just in case, I stood to her left side instead of right behind her. I had the scissors in my pocket, so I was ready. 

A nanosecond after I lifted her tail, she lifted her left hind leg and cow-kicked me. I never had a chance to get the scissors out of my pocket. Fortunately she missed my kneecap. Fortunately she got me on an especially well-padded portion of my thigh, so no bones were broken. 

The word I yelled was especially appropriate for the circumstance. Cupcake kept eating and never looked up. 

Fortunately, there was plenty of ice lying around for me to ice down my injury.  

It swelled anyway. 

Given the circumstances, I decided that Cupcake could wear the poopsicles  for a while longer.

~