Peevish Pen

Ruminations on reading, writing, rural living, retirement, aging—and sometimes cats. And maybe a border collie or other critters.

© 2006-2018 All rights reserved

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Location: Rural Virginia, United States

I'm an elderly retired teacher who writes. Among my books are Ferradiddledumday (Appalachian version of the Rumpelstiltskin story), Stuck (middle grade paranormal novel), Patches on the Same Quilt (novel set in Franklin County, VA), Them That Go (an Appalachian novel), Miracle of the Concrete Jesus & Other Stories, and several Kindle ebooks.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Reflections of a Young Border Collie, part 3

Dogs Rule! Er, Dog Rules.
By Maggie Mae

Based on observations made during my eight months in my current canine incarnation, I have formulated a list of rules that every border collie puppy should know.

Yes, I am aware that these rules could apply to all breeds, but I doubt that any other breeds are as computer literate as border collies.

1. Never trust any human who doesn’t drive a pick-up truck.
2. Never trust any human who does drive a pick-up truck but won’t let a dog ride in it.
3. Never trust a cat.
4. Never poke a cat with your nose unless you enjoy having a cat pop you in the face.
5. Most humans can be trained.
6. Most cats can’t.
7. There is no good reason why a human who is sitting on a commode can’t throw a ball for a dog to catch at the same time.
8. The Frisbee is one of the world’s greatest inventions.
9. Never pass up an opportunity to jump into a creek.
10. If it runs, chase it. If it pops you in the face, back off.
11. Occasionally obey a command that a human gives you if it makes the human happy and won’t inconvenience you.
12. If it smells funny, roll in it.
13. A dog cannot have too many toys.
14. Dog toys should be scattered through the whole house. You never know when you might want to play with something.
15. Cat food tastes better than dog food. It tastes even better if you can steal it from the cat.


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