Email Spam 2018

 Recently I received an email from a person I didn't know who was promoting his relatively new self-published book. As a self-published author myself, I wondered how this person knew about me. Had he perhaps read my CreateSpace-published books—Patches on the Same Quilt, Them That Go, or Miracle of the Concrete Jesus & Other Stories?

I'm pretty sure he hadn't. Since his email had also been sent to several others, it looks like he harvested my name and contact info from the website of a group where I am a member. 

Here's what he wrote—with name, title, etc., redacted. While I consider any email that hits my in-box fair game, I do not wish to embarrass those who don't know better. Hence, the redacted info in the email I'm publishing here for educational purposes:

I'm new to [BIG WRITING GROUP], having authored a non-fiction book on [Title redacted] available on Amazon in Kindle for $20 and a paperback version for $24.65, and soon a smaller paperback. 

There is no way that I would ever spend over $10 on an ebook by a well-known author, so I'm unlikely to buy an ebook by an unknown author on a subject that doesn’t interest me. I don't think I'm the target audience for this book. Plus, the following paragraph isn’t a book summary, nor is it a hook to entice folks to buy the book. I’m not sure what it is:

The current "batch" of Justice, FBI and Congressional "silence breakers" is for . . .  [employees who reported waste, fraud or abuse] who usually "blow their whistles seemingly too late", while really they are held in silence by government agencies. These were started by the First Continental Congress in 1777. That didn't work well, as 90 years later government fraud almost lost the Civil War for the Union until Congress passed and Abraham Lincoln signed the False Claims Act in 1862, "deputizing and rewarding all citizens reporting fraud". 

Commas and periods belong inside end quotation marks. Writers know that. Writers also know that over-use of quotation marks (unless quoted material is being cited) is really annoying to readers.

I left out some stuff in the next paragraph (which also isn't a book summary or an effective hook):

The threat and quick governmental legal action worked until WWII when public sources enabled hundreds of civilian [. . . ] cases to be filed [. . . ] on military contractors that were settled in courts before the Justice Department even knew about them, too late the Attorney General claimed to pursue criminal action, against large influential Corporate political contributors. So Congress made cases "secret", keeping them "under seal" in Federal Courts, where most stayed uninvestigated and untried in Courts. A few are settled after 5 years or so "under seal" but recovered less than 1% of what was accused of having been stolen from taxpayers. Mine was filed in 1998 [. . . ] It was supposedly "dismissed", I believe illegally [. . . .] Over $1 billion unpaid in Virginia!

From that paragraph, even with the deleted info included, I had a heckuva time figuring out what the book was actually about. Plus I'm even more annoyed by the comma/quotation mark misuse. The spammer changes tone in the next paragraph, though:

Being a novice, I thought libraries bought books, especially by local authors, and especially in eBook formats that take no room on shelves.

No, that isn't how it works at all. Libraries subscribe to a service that provides access to ebooks. The service gets to pick which ebooks. Your local librarian could have told you that. As a fomer member of my county's library board, I know that some libraries will buy print copies of books by unknown authors if several of library patrons request the book, but libraries have fixed budgets and must use their funds to buy books that will be checked out by more than a few card-holders.

However, if a library allows you to do a presentation about your book (which includes your selling/signing your book), you should donate a copy of your book as a way of thanking that library.

Since that is not the case, I next thought that joining writers groups who are non-profit and giving them half the profits would work, If I could stimulate sales of their books as well, in return.

I have no clue how that would actually work—and I've been a member of various writers groups since 1994. But I can tell you—from personal experience—that self-published authors have doggone few profits. Factor in costs to get to venues that aren't close to home and you could even end up with negative profits.

If you can't stimulate sales of your own book, you are unlikley to stimulate sales of others' books.

The basic concept is to "leapfrog" libraries who can't purchase anything and go directly to "Book Clubs", who I believe are not only looking for "local stories", but are or have contemplated writing one themselves. My experience is in order to complete a book you have to be persistent and are best served "buying from local experts".

There's that doggone comma/quotation mark error again. Arggghhh! I'm not sure what " 'leapfrog' libraries" means. As for book clubs (or, as you put it, "Book Clubs"), they are for readers—people who enjoy reading and discussing books with like-minded folks. People in writers groups are the ones who have contemplated writing books.

Many "Book Clubs" book clubs in my area choose their selections a year or so in advance. Most that I'm familiar with meet monthly, so they don't choose more than a dozen books a year. 

At my website, [title redacted] you'll see my target is a big one "the $20 Trillion National Debt" that shows it is "costing each American over $62,000" for which none received anything of value. Buyers do receive something of value in seeing all the information [. . . ], and $10 if they buy [my book] at my website to their charity of choice, which I will inform them [BIG WRITING GROUP] qualifies as, and I will target to each [BIG WRITING GROUP] Chapter areas and give names in my marketing to those who make presentations.

 My full information is on our [BIG WRITING GROUP] site.

Only basic information—not "full information"—for all members is on the writing group's site (where he found my contact info). And anyone accessing the site has to know an author's name to be able to look up the info. But—since I intend this post to be educational—let me digress into giving a bit of info that might be helpful to self-publishing novices:

Go to writing conferences and symposiums. I've blogged in the past about some writing events  I've attended, such as this symposium and this publishers' day at Virginia Festival of the Book.

Read books about writing. Your library should have some. Start there, but be aware of many articles, blog posts, etc. that exist online. Over a decade ago, I blogged about "Books that Every Writer Should Read." On this blog I've also reviewed some writing books—like Shut Up and Write and The Writer's Essential Tackle Box.

Read about promotion and marketing. Lots of online articles and blogs address marketing. The Behler blog is a good place to start. I've previously blogged about what I didn't want to do for book promotion ("Book Promotion—NOT") and what I might do ("Book Promotion—Maybe").

Join a local writers group. Members who have been there/done that can help you with your concerns and questions.  They can explain hat works and doesn't work for book promotion. But, please—don't spam them.

~

Sarah Hill Shill?

This picture of Tanner sleeping has nothing  to do with this post's content.

Every so often, I get some spam comments submitted to this blog. Usually they're for recent posts, but when they're for posts from several years back, I get suspicious. When the same person comments on two old posts, I get more suspicious—as I did for these two posts from Sarah Hill, who is no doubt a shill for a scammy essay-writing service.

The first comment is for a two-sentence April 2008 post about a bird's nest. It has NOTHING to do with student writing. Plus, I haven't taught writing since 2007. And Sarah could use a little writing help herself ("As for it looks great!"):

The second one arrived 14 minutes after the first. Again, it was for an old post from 2008. Again, Sarah shills for the same essay mill. Again, her writing is, er, interesting: ". . . because it teats all the customers with respect and care. . . ." That certainly puts an image in my mind of customers having breasts attached—albeit it carefully and respectfully.

Now for a bit of irony. Sarah, bless her heart, just happened to reply to a post wherein I warn against essay mills. I even give an example of how bad the essays are by marking up a now-non-existant mill's offering.

I became aware of essay mills a few years ago while I was teaching Freshman Grammar & Comp. If a student's essay looked suspicious, I'd Google a phrase from it and see what popped up. My favorite was a descriptive essay in which a female student "wrote" about driving through fields of bluebells in Texas in 1995 with her boyfriend. (Let's see, an 18-year-old freshman in 2005 or 2006 would have been how old in 1995?) I Googled and found the essay posted on a professor's website at some Midwest university. He'd used it as a good example of a descriptive essay, and my student figured she couldn't go wrong with something like that, except . . . .

Now, teachers have more sophisticated means of detecting plagiarism, such as Turnitin and other plagiarism checkers. Odds are good, if a company sells an essay once, they'll sell it again.

When I checked out the site that shilly Sarah was touting, I found this right smack dab on the main page:

Why Oder indeed? 

~

Ranveer Spam

This morning, between 2:28 and 2:35 AM, someone attempted to post spam comments to some older posts on my blog. Because I have to approve comments before they are posted, these #!* comments will not go on the blog posts the spammer intended. However, here are some screen shots I took. Notice that each one had links that would have been clickable if I'd posted them as comments. I have a feeling that clicking those links would not be a good idea.

Uh, the heirloom quilt was never a shipping pallet.

What the heck does that comment have to do with spreading mulch? And you "really appreciate with [my] blog?" English obviously isn't your first language, is it?

Huh?

Oh, sure. What blogger wouldn't have a catalogue of snow?

My border collie Maggie does not have acne.

Uh, you're repeating yourself, Ranveer. Are you just copying and pasting?

You're repeating yourself again, Ranveer. You are just copying and pasting!

Except it really wasn't great information.

You're repeating yourself again, Ranveer.

Why don't I believe you, Ranveer?

No it wasn't. It was a review of a book by a plagiarist. 

Now I'm wondering—would all this spam by Ranveer somehow be connected to the heavily accented scammer who called yesterday afternoon about my Windows computer sending him messages that it had a virus?

My husband answered the call, and kept repeating to the caller, "Are you Punjabi?" in a fake Indian accent. Then I picked up the phone, causing "Sam" to have to start at the top of his script again.

When he got to the part where my computer was sending him a message that it was infected, I interrupted: "How would my computer send you a message?" He replied, "Because it is infected."

Me: "How would it know to contact you?" Silence on his end (except for all the other voices at the call center) while he found the place in his script again.

That gave me time to say, "How would you know my computer is infected if you're not the person who infected it? You're a terrorist, aren't you?" I accused him of being a terrorist several times, each time louder than the last. Then I punched a bunch of random numbers on the phone and hung up.

I didn't even bother to tell him that I don't have a Windows computer.

~

November 2015 Spam

Note: Because this is basically a boring post about spam I received in my inbox the other day, I will add some random pictures of my kitties to spruce it up a bit. (The spam is in blue.)

Oops! I used this pic of George in a previous posting. Sorry!

Apparently someone thinks my website (which is indeed in need of updating) is a piece of crap.

Hi beckymushko.com Team,

There is no "team." Just moi.

Hope you are doing well.

I doubt you hope that. My blood sugar is too high, and I'm not walking very well—so, I'm not doing "well" at all.

Olivia and Tanner don't usually cuddle.

A quick analysis reveals your website beckymushko.com having different technical glitches, where organic/natural traffic is very low.

Organic? Natural? What the heck kind of "traffic" is that? And what "technical glitches"?

This might seem irrelevant, but we think you are losing a major portion of traffic and revenue that your business deserves.

Business? What business? I'm retired! Granted, my website does provide info about my books, but I haven't written anything new for years.

There are many companies who work only with standard SEO strategies; however we stand out by making directed efforts on research based competitor analysis.

Companies? I'm not a company! I don't need CEO strategies, whatever they are. My website is a personal website. NOT A BUSINESS SITE!

Let's have a look at the issues related to your website beckymushko.com:

1. Low online presence for competitive keywords or, phrases.
2. Don't forget to make sure that, your website is compatible with different types of mobile devices.
3. Technical errors that restrict your website from being indexed by search engines.
4. Lack of theme based quality back links.
5. A meager social presence is a reason to ponder too.

 Where do I begin to correct your errors? How about if I point out just three?

1. "Competitive keywords or, phrases"? Whom, pray tell, do you think I'm competing with? It's a personal website!

4. "Theme based" should be "theme-based." Please learn to use hyphens correctly.
5. How many folks, I wonder, are actually pondering my "meager social presence"?

Your website is the face of your business. If you are not aware about Digital Marketing prospects, you will lose your hard-won supremacy.

It's NOT a business site.

So, it's high time to think about your online presence. Our technical experts are here to help you without any CONTRACT or SET UP FEE.

I don't care if it's high time or low time. I don't want help from your technical experts.

Interested? Revert back now. We will send you a clear analysis report (FREE) using our corporate e-mail ID.

No, I'm NOT interested. What the heck did you mean by "revert back"? Did you mean "reply"? If so, that's the word you should have used. And you can take your "corporate e-mail ID" and—well, use your imagination. 

 Best Regards,

robert horn |DM Consultant

Oh dear, Robert (or robert), you must have severe self-esteem issues if you don't capitalize your name. Or perhaps you graduated from a substandard school. What must your potential clients think when they see your uncapitalized name? Do they see you as uneducated? Ignorant? Uncaring of what others think? 

At any rate, I—a retired English teacher— can help you. For only a moderate fee, I can proofread your work for capitalization errors. Punctuation errors cost more, though.  

Jim-Bob cuddles his mama Olivia.

P.S. Robert (or robert), your website really does need some kitties.

~~~

Last Spam of 2014

This post is about email spam so it is, of course, really boring. I'll throw in a few pictures of my cat George to liven it up a bit.  George is kind of a managerial cat—always poking his nose into something—so I don't think he will mind.

Now for the spam: Back in mid-November 2014, I received this email from someone I didn't even know:

Since she gave the address of my "Frugal Living" blog—which is NOT my actual website—and she didn't greet me by name, I figured it was spam. Naturally, I didn't bother to reply. Neither did George, although  he was sleeping in a dangerous place.

But we were wrong. On Dec. 8, I received a follow-up:

Again, she gave the address of my "Frugal Living" blog. Nonetheless, I answered her with  this (note that I didn't address her by name either):

Hello,

I don't update my frugal living blog much anymore because I don't get out to find bargains at local places the way I used to. And I haven't allowed guest bloggers in the past. How much do you pay for placing articles on a writer's personal blog? (I'm thinking I could let you have space on my blog—a max of 750 words for $25 and a max of 1500 words for $50.)

I read the two articles you referenced and found them horribly generic. No sense of the writer's personality at all! The first one had no pictures that illustrate the article and the second only had one generic picture plus a lame attempt at humor by implying the reader lounged on the sofa and watched mindless crap on TV.  Readers of a personal blog would certainly be turned off by those articles. I know I was.

However, I could use some info on how to build an inexpensive pasture fence that will contain a large mare who likes to lean on the fence (electric fence is not an option), how to build winter shelters for barn-cats or feral cats, the best way to treat a hoof abscess and how bandage a horse's foot, and similar rural-related articles. All submitted articles should include pictures of the writer's cats or horses. And all articles should mention local sources of materials (Franklin, Bedford, Roanoke, Pittsylvania County VA).

George and I thought that would be the end of it, but we were wrong. On the last Wednesday of 2014, I received this:

. . . to which I replied—including the copy of my above response—and adding this: 

Since then my prices have gone up.  It's now $50 for a max of 750 words and $75 for a max of 1500 words for articles for my blog. The articles must have a rural slant and refer to local sources of supplies.

And please—if you quote any statistics, cite your sources—which shouldn't be from the manufacturer whose product you're plugging in your article. The "Energy Efficiency" article was a pretty lame promo for Nest and only provided generic info. The "Beyond Windows" article might work for city dwellers who don't have pets, but my cats would be swinging on those drapery panels like nobody's business. My blog readers wouldn't identify at all.

Perhaps you should just drop me from your email list. I don't think we're on the same page. We're not even in the same book. And we're in different libraries. Well, you get my drift.

 But I'll bet she doesn't. Since there was a copyright notice on the bottom of her email, the company might think I'm violating some law or another. However, since I'm using jpegs of a portion of the email for educational purposes, George and I think I'm good to go.

Plus, I might even be helping them "expand their audience." Just not in the way they envisioned.

Meanwhile, if y'all want to buy space on my blog (note: my prices are rising so rapidly, I can't give you a quote at the moment) have your people contact my cat George and we'll see what we can work out.

But be warned that George isn't thinking outside the box lately.

~

Blog Spam?

Not long ago, I received an email that looked a bit, er, suspicious.

Not from George. He'd rather sleep.

Someone I didn't know wanted to blog on my Frugal Living blog, one I rarely even update. Why?

Hey there Becky,

My name is Jennifer and I am writing to you on behalf of Phone Power, one of the top players in the internet phone service industry.

Currently, I am looking for bloggers who are influential in frugality and saving money. I have been reading Becky's Frugal Living for a while now and really enjoyed your content and depth of commentary. After reading many of your posts, I would love to partner with you to provide some new, unique content that would be relevant and interesting for your readers 

If it’s something you’d be interested in, I would like to write an article, guest poxtpost, or even supply one of our infographics to your site. A few topics I have in mind are:

• 14 Ways to Save Around the House in 2014
• Using VoIP on the Go: The Advantages of Free Mobile Apps
• 3 Secrets to Cutting Household Expenses

I'm also open to writing about any topic suggestions you might have. In the meantime, I welcome you to also look at some past guest posting submissions we’ve done for other blogs:

http://www.financemagazineonline.com/2013/03/internationalbusinesscallsmadeeasy.html

http://www.techsenser.com/2013/03/voip-new-technology-that-has-changed.html

Also, feel free to learn a little more about our company and what we’re all about here: www.phonepower.com.

I look forward to hearing back from you Becky!

Thanks!

Jennifer

Hmmm. Jennifer-with-no-last-name thinks thinks I'm "influential in frugality"? My Frugal Living blog has "depth of commentary"? Uh, no on both counts. I could tell that this email was a cut-and-paste job sent to probably any blogger who used the words "frugal" or "frugality" in blog posts. Anyhow, I answered her email:
Hi Jennifer, 

I have never used a guest blogger on my "Frugal Living" blog, and I rarely update it. However, I'll address some of your questions.

. . . I am writing to you on behalf of Phone Power, one of the top players in the internet phone service industry.

I'm not really interested in the "Internet phone service industry," but I do sometimes use Facetime on my iPad. I have an app for Skype but have never used it. I often go for a week or more without even using my landline, and a month or more without using my Tracfone. Sometimes I think the main purpose of my landline is to call CenturyLink every time our Internet goes out—which it usually does after heavy rains.

Currently, I am looking for bloggers who are influential in frugality and saving money. I have been reading Becky's Frugal Living for a while now and really enjoyed your content and depth of commentary.

It's possible you have been reading someone else's blog and confused it with mine. I don't have a "depth of commentary," just pictures of things I've acquired cheap—or for free—and a few remarks about the picture. I rarely even update that blog. 

After reading many of your posts, I would love to partner with you to provide some new, unique content that would be relevant and interesting to your readers.

Anytime someone uses the word "unique," I'm suspicious. 

. . . I would like to write an article, guest post, or even supply one of our infographics to your site. A few topics I have in mind are: 

• 14 Ways to Save Around the House in 2014 
• Using VoIP on the Go: The Advantages of Free Mobile Apps 
• 3 Secrets to Cutting Household Expenses

I looked at this site that had a "14 Ways to Save Around the House in 2014"  and found it a major bore. Nothing that would interest my readers, who want to know where to buy stuff cheap, how to repurpose old stuff, etc. Not even any photos on that blog! And stuff like "Start evaluating your food needs more closely. . ." I mean, really—who talks like that?! I don't think my readers go around "evaluating their needs."

I'm also open to writing about any topic suggestions you might have.

Do you have pictures of stuff you've you've rescued and repurposed from the dumpster or Goodwill? If not, how about "14 Hints for Successful Dumpster Diving"? Or "Don't Declutter; Repurpose!" Or "Cheap But Cozy Cold-Weather Barn Clothes" Or "How to Cut Your Horse-Keeping Expenses: Vet Work You Can Do Yourself" Or "When in Doubt, Don't Throw it Out! At Least Recycle!" Or "Goodwill Vs. Your Local Thrift Shop—Which is Better?"

My readers are mostly rural as well as thrifty. They're do-it-yourselfers.

In the meantime, I welcome you to also look at some past guest posting submissions we've done for other blogs:
http://www.financemagazineonline.com/2013/03/internationalbusinesscallsmadeeasy.html

When I clicked the above URL, I got this message: "Sorry, the page you were looking for in this blog does not exist." (And what's this "we've done"? You're not working alone?)

Also, feel free to learn a little more about our company. . . .

I took a quick look. It didn't interest me. As for the "Keep in touch with family and friends around the world" bit, between email and Facebook, I'm covered.

There were some things—besides her solicitation to use my blog as a commercial for "a top player in the internet phone service agency"—that aroused my suspicions. Her signature (no last name!) in a smaller size than the rest of the text of her email told me it was a cut-and-paste job and was likely the same email sent to goodness-knows-how-many bloggers she'd Googled up. I knew she hadn't even read my blog—probably didn't even look at it!—or she would have known that her suggestions wouldn't fit. Plus, if she was going to include a link to a site she wanted me to look at, she should at least have checked the link to make sure it actually worked. 

Her email (a gmail account) tipped me off that if "Jennifer" really worked for the company she was pushing, wouldn't she have a phonepower.com email—with maybe her name in it? I suspect she (or maybe he?) really works for a marketing company. At any rate, I'm not impressed with her/his comma errors.

It's been several days since I replied to her email, and she hasn't gotten back to me. Gee, I wonder why not? Meanwhile, I think I'd rather have George guest blog than some stranger who wants to plug a business. 

OK, George—go for it:

Hey, George the cat here! I just want to let you know of my household service, George's Rodent Relocation and Property Patrol. For a small fee, I'll walk around your property and "relocate" any rodents I happen to find. Is that a great deal or what?! It's a win-win situation for both of us, though not for the rodents. Just call—oh, wait. I don't have a phone number. I don't know how to answer the phone either. Never mind.

Meanwhile, the day I replied to "Jennifer's" email, I updated Frugal Living, but I didn't provide much in the way of "depth of commentary." I did post pictures, though.

~

Update: On January 31, I received this email from Jennifer R.

Hi Becky,

I appreciate your breakdown of my email. If you don't want to work with us, a simple no would have sufficed. But, I appreciate your constructive feedback.

Have a great day,

Best, 

Jen

But sometimes a simple "no" isn't so simple at all.

~