Peevish Pen

Ruminations on reading, writing, genealogy and family history, rural living, retirement, aging—and sometimes cats.

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Location: Rural Virginia, Virginia, United States

I'm an elderly retired teacher who writes. Among my books are Ferradiddledumday (Appalachian version of the Rumpelstiltskin story), Stuck (middle grade paranormal novel), Patches on the Same Quilt (novel set in Franklin County, VA), Them That Go (an Appalachian novel), Miracle of the Concrete Jesus & Other Stories, and several Kindle ebooks.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Whistling Woman

I'm a big fan of Appalachian novels—both to read and to write. When I ran across a free Amazon download (free at least for Prime members; 99¢ for others), I figured I'd take a chance. I'm glad I did. I really enjoyed CC Tillery's Whistling Woman.


A plot description is on the back of the paperback version:


The back-cover description covers the basics but hardly does the book justice. It doesn't let the reader know that the book has such a rich texture. I was impressed by the details that make this book truly Appalachian—a sense of place (rural Kentucky setting), time (late 19th century), daily life, the sense of family, traditions, and superstitions.

Some of Whistling Woman echoes my self-published novel, Them That Go, but with a different setting and situation. I'm pretty sure that those who like my book will like this one, too. And there's some "going" in Whistling Woman, too.

While Whistling Woman reads like a novel, it's actually creative non-fiction by sisters Cyndi Tillery Hodges and Christy Tillery French, who use the name CC Tillery to write about the life of their great-aunt Bessie. You can read more about the authors and book here.

Whistling Woman is Book 1 in the "Appalachian Journey" series. The other three books follow later events in Bessie's  life: Moonfixer, Beloved Woman, and Wise Woman. The e-books are a good bargain at 99¢ each, but they're also available in paperback.
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Monday, May 09, 2016

Two Memoirs About Writing

The last two print books I've read have been memoirs. Or maybe partial autobiographies. Or both. They're both about writing, too. They're way different from each other, but I enjoyed them both. I like reading about writing, and memoir is one of my favorite genres.


I've been a Lee Smith fan for years, ever since I found her novel Family Linen at the Roanoke County Library back in the late-1980s. I remember picking it up to read the first few pages and found "Roanoke, Virgina," on the first page. Roanoke? Books could be set in Roanoke? Who knew. . . ? Anyhow, that got me hooked on Lee Smith's books. Her novel Fair and Tender Ladies, which I've read at least three times, is one of my favorite Appalachian novels.

Last month I read her new book, Dimestore: A Writer's Life, which consists of fifteen essays about various parts of her life. I especially enjoyed the stories about when she was a child in Grundy, Virginia, and how she helped out at her father's Ben Franklin dimestore (where she took charge of the dolls—arranging them, naming them, etc.). The book gave some insights into a writer's life—where she got some of her ideas and how she wrote. For more info about the book, check out the Kirkus review, a segment of the Diane Rehms Show, and this article in Writer Mag.


Last week, I read Mary Norris's Between You & Me: Confessions of a Comma Queen. This book also gave me some insights into a writer's life. Norris was a copy-editor for the New Yorker for thirty years, and her book was a blend of memoir and grammar book. She went into great detail about why some words or punctuation marks were used the way they were. And she pointed out a lot of grammatical errors that writers make and told how to fix them. Parts of the book are downright funny! But you'll learn a lot from reading it.

So why isn't Between You & Me a staple in every high school classroom? Probably because of Chapter 9—"F*ck This Sh*t"—in which she explains how to deal with naughty words (including the seven that comedian George Carlin said you couldn't say on TV—and a few more).

ARLO: "This yellow book uses naughty words!"

For more information on Norris's book, take a look at her essay "Holy Writ" (which appears in her book), the New York Times review, the Guardian article, and the NPR review. The NPR review sums up the book thus: "Between You & Me, Norris' first book, is part memoir, part guide to the mind-bending nuances of English grammar, and part homage to The New Yorker's legendary writers and copy editors. It brims with wit, personality—and commas." That pretty much nails it.

Mary Norris has a "Comma Queen" series of short videos, in which she covers many of the grammatical and punctuation problems she addresses in Between You & Me, such as how many spaces after a period in "Space: The Final Frontier" (Answer: one);  she explains how to use who or whom in "Who/Whom for Dummies"; and she explains what restrictive and non-restrictive clauses and phrases are in "Let's Get Restrictive." (No, she doesn't mention Chapter 9, so these videos are safe for all ages.)

I thoroughly enjoyed both Dimestore and Between You & Me: Confessions of a Comma Queen, but then I'm a former English teacher as well as a writer-wannabe, so I might be a bit partial to the subject matter of both.
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Thursday, February 04, 2016

Reading Appalachian Fiction

While I was writing my Appalachian novel, I avoided reading fiction so I wouldn't be influenced by what I read. Now that the novel is in a time-out phase before I self-publish it, I've gone back to reading. I really had a hankering to read Appalachian lit.

For some reason, I hadn't read one of Sharyn McCrumb's earlier ballad novels, The Hangman's Beautiful Daughter. While it was published in 1992 and is out of print (in actual print), an e-version was recently made available—with a beguiling cover.


But I'd recently acquired an old copy, so that's what I read.


The book is flat-out, doggone good! For one thing, the two-sentence opening paragraph could be a lesson in how to write good openers:
Nora Bonesteel was the first to know about the Underhill family. Death was no stranger to Dark Hollow, but Nora Bonesteel was the only one who could see it coming.
It includes who (Nora Bonestell, the Underhills), where (Dark Hollow), and what (death, and Nora Bonesteel's ability to see it coming). It piques the reader's interest—how did the Underhills die? and how did Nora know? Since I wanted to know, I kept reading. And reading. I finished the book in two days—with a little encouragement from my kitty friends, Tanner and his sidekick Arlo.


This book is one of McCrumb's ballad series that features Nora Bonesteel, a mountain woman who has "the sight." I'd read about Nora in other books and found her an intriguing character.

Sharyn McCrumb gives an introduction to The Hangman's Beautiful Daughter on her website. Once you read it, you'll want to read the book.

While The Kirkus Review gives a concise summary of the plot, they miss the point on the prose by a country mile. Unlike the Kirkus reviewer, I found McCrumb's prose riveting.

According to the Publisher's Weekly review, "McCrumb weaves Appalachian folklore and death, in natural and unnatural forms, into a story that meanders like a mountain stream through the hills of east Tennessee before rushing to its turbulent conclusion." That pretty much sums it up, but a lot of interconnected events happen in the book, and McCrumb brings them together masterfully.


The book is a page turner. If you like Appalachian lit (my favorite kind), consider this a must read.
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Sunday, November 23, 2014

Chatham Bookfest 2014

A week ago yesterday, I was one of the ten authors in the Old Chatham depot for the second annual  Pittsylvania County Public Library's Book and Author Festival. I'd really enjoyed last year's festival, so I was delighted to be invited back. This time, besides selling books and chatting with readers and other authors, I did a presentation on "Confessions of an Under-published Author." Here I am at my display.


The festival is held inside the old Chatham depot that's now restored and is used as the Pittsylvania County History Research Center and Library. This is a wonderful place for a festival—it's easy to find, not far away (only 27 miles for me), and has convenient parking. Plus authors can unload right at the entry door. Plus it has an interesting history.

For years the depot stood in ruins before being restored and reused as a research center. This picture gives you an idea of its transformation.


A miniature display shows how the depot looked in its heyday.


Just inside the door is a statue that used to be at the Chatham Library. The horses caught my eye right away.


The festival is about local authors and their books, and the ten authors at this year's festival offered an interesting variety of books. Returning for the second year was Larry G. Aaron who's written a lot of local history books.


A closer look at some of his books, including The Wreck of the Old 97 and Pittsylvania County, Virginia: A Brief History.



His latest book, Pittsylvania County and the War of 1812 (The History Press, November 2014, 160 pgs.), attracted a lot of attention


A young author, JB North wrote Spark (Legend of the Shifters) as part of the Chatham Library's group for National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) last year. She self-published it via CreateSpace in May.


Courtney Hood, a children's minister at Chatham's Cornerstone Church of Christ, had Rescued, a new Christian book for children illustrated by her brother. 


Since I am a fan of both memoir and regional history, I looked forward to meeting Sarah Coles, who was there with her late mother's book,  All Grown Up: From the Plantation to Washington, D.C. Mary I. Coles self-published her memoir when she was 90. 


I started reading All Grown Up on last Saturday night and finished it on Sunday. It's only 61 pages, but it covers a lot of territory. 


The book begins with a 1901 obituary from the Danville Register—an obituary of Philip "Uncle Philip" Hearne who lived to be a hundred and who was once a slave owned by Thomas Jefferson. Walter Coles I., who was a member of Congress and owner of a plantation near Chatham, bought 26-year-old Philip from Jefferson's estate in 1826. 


Philip "became part of the Coles family, and his descendants, as well, took on the Coles' last name." Mary, a fourth generation Coles, "was born on the Coles' plantation when it belonged to Walter Coles III." From what she's written, it's obvious that Mary's family was hard-working, industrious, responsible, and had a strong sense of family. Even when she was little, she had chores to do, such as milking the cow and tending her little brother. As a young adult, she helped support her widowed mother.

Mary apparently had a sense of adventure as well as responsibility. In 1942, her brother who'd moved to D.C. told her that she could make more money there than in Chatham. Mary boarded a train and soon had a job working for two sisters. During the years she worked for many others whom she fondly remembered. Eventually she was able to buy her mother a house.

I really liked this account of Mary Coles' life. I was impressed by how much she remembered and her enthusiasm for life. I only wished the book had been longer.


I'm already looking forward to next year's bookfest.
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Monday, August 04, 2014

Book Spam

(Note: Whenever spam from strangers appears in my email, I sometimes respond, though not in the way the sender intended. Another note: In this post, some lines change to a different size other than "normal." I don't know why.)

This picture of Jim-Bob has nothing to do with this post.
It's a token cute kitty pic.

Back in mid-June, someone I didn't know tried to comment on my "Frugal Living" blog which I rarely update. This was the comment, with certain info redacted:
Hi I'm looking for your contact info for a book review/post?
Can you email me at [company name redacted] at gmail dot com
I was not impressed by the misuse of punctuation, especially since this email was from a "literary business" site. I was puzzled why anyone would comment on a blog that has nothing to do with book reviews. I responded thusly:

Hello [name],

I found your comment on my "Frugal Living" blog where I write about bargains I have purchased or furniture I have repurposed on that blog. I don't review books on that blog.

I do occasional book reviews on my "Peevish Pen" blog. However, the only books I usually consider for review are books by Appalachian authors, books set in the Appalachian region or the south, middle grade or YA novels, memoir, books about writing, and some regional history. I sometimes review self-pubbed books, but only if I have met the author and really like the book.


I didn't get a reply—until last week when this email (certain info has been blurred by me) hit my inbox: 


Now, the author of that book just happens to be the same person who commented on my blog and who  is also the head of the "literary business" that the Book Manager and Blog Tour Assistant work for. I poked around in the company website, which doesn't display well on my iMac's Safari browser but does on my iPad. (And one of the services this site offers—among a multitude of services that authors can purchase—is web design. Hmmm. You'd think they'd check the effectiveness of their designs on a variety of browsers. . . .)

I was, however, intrigued that the author had been a teller of fairy tales for years. According to her website, she "has spent the last decade captivating audiences of all ages with her novels and fairy tales." I'm a big fairy tale fan, so I wanted to take a look at hers. Alas, Amazon turned up no fairy tales she'd written, but her new book was already available on Amazon. But the "look inside the book" feature wasn't activated, and I couldn't find an excerpt until a Google search turned up a page on the self-publishing site Smashwords. According to what the author wrote (Note: I am providing links to attribute her stuff to the author because, in her book's intro, she says it's OK to use brief passages in reviews as long as she gets credit for them):
I started writing this book when I was fifteen, but didn’t get it published until in my thirties. It’s been a long epic journey that has built my character as I have built the characters. Many of the people and events in The [Title Redacted] Series are based on real people and events that have come into my life. I’ve obviously changed the names to protect identity and used many symbolisms. . .  .
I read the first chapter here. It wasn't a genre I usually read, but I went ahead and read the next two chapters that the Smashwords sample allowed (there are 28 total). Here's my synopsis of these first three chapters (with comments that my inner English teacher could not suppress):

The setting is an unidentified village "less than a league from London" in 1270 AD—but the residents spoke modern English, though, and used terms that you wouldn't think villagers would use back then. (Well, they're based on real people, so I guess this is how the real people talked.) The story begins with a cottage fire that traps three children inside and takes three pages to burn down. (The word cottage entered the English language in the late 13th century so this was a brand new concept when the book took place! However, back then cottage meant all the property attached to a cote and not the small residence that seems to take a long time to burn.) People try to put out the fire with buckets (another new concept back then!) of water from the brook. Anyhow, flames spewed, screams pierced, a man swallowed hard and his Adam's apple (a term first used in 1731, so we've got an anachronism there) bobbed, the protagonist suppressed a groan, fear surgedheavy footfalls pounded, wind danced through hairthe sound of silence is broken, and numerous other cliches ensue. 

 Anyhow, the protagonist (a red-haired girl whose name is so hard to pronounce that the author has to tell you how to say it in the book blurb—and in the email I received) doesn't get burned and, while lying on the wet grass and looking at the stars, realizes she's never ever been burned before. Finally, one of the onlookers wonders if she's alive, and—of course!—she is and her "skin still glowed like pure ivory," though one wonders how these villagers ever saw ivory. A nobleman, who's really some magical kind of dude, appears and accuses her of being a witch, but she kicks up some hot embers at him and runs away toward the haunting Forbidden Forest, which is populated (or maybe haunted?) by all kinds of scary things. But it's so dark she doesn't see them and goes deeper into the forest. How she finds her way in the dark is anybody's guess, but this is fantasy so I guess it's OK for those things to happen.

Naturally (or perhaps unnaturally), she makes it out of the haunting Forbidden Forest (After all, there are a lot more books to come in this series, so she can't die a few pages into the first one, can she?) into a stream that flows by a meadow where a shepherd (complete with sheepdog) is tending his flock. She sits on gnarled roots and cups a handful of water to wash her feet. Then black smoke issues from the woods and big black wolves with black flames billowing off the "alpha wolf" (who also had "lethal teeth" and eyes that "flashed like crimson brimstone"—see p.15) emerge from the Forbidden Forest and attack the sheep (and sheepdog). Gruesomeness ensues.

Chapter 2 finds the girl bloody and shackled and lying on the bloody body of the wolf in some old hag's abode. The "shriveled old woman" (who also has an "erratic stride") hacks up the wolf's body (more blood) although she apparently didn't let the corpse hang to bleed out as one would do for an animal killed for meat and quickly makes it into stew, which they eat.

This woman, unlike the other human characters so far, speaks in dialect (this is another brief quote used for the purposes of a review, so it should be OK to quote):
“If ye wish ta die, feel free ta leave the cottage. There be plagues in the villages so terrible men fall on their swords ta be free of their sufferin’. There be wars between them villagers. Men kill each other in mass slaughters ‘cause they be hungry, and there be not enough food ta go around.”
 The old woman has issues and a mission which I won't get into here, and the girl really wants to escape, but that doesn't happen until several months later. The Smashwords sample ended on p. 24, so I'm not sure what actually ensues. 

My critical opinion of the first three chapters:

I'm not sure who the intended reader is. I can't tell if this is YA (it has a young protagonist) or if it's for adult readers. Unless I'm missing something, it's likely not for fans of English history, nor is it for English majors.

I was interested in why the book was set in a specific year—1270 AD—but that wasn't revealed in the first three chapters. Possibly Parliament levying a property tax to support the 8th Crusade that year? Or Prince Edward's leaving England to participate in the 8th Crusade in 1270? I'm guessing, from the title of a later chapter given in the table of contents, that it was maybe King Henry III dying while his successor was on a crusade.

In the short selection I read, I found anacronisms, dialogue that didn't ring true, some strange similes and metaphors, an over-abudance of cliches, etc. Among the multitude of anacronisms: toddler (1793), debris (1708), exact (mid-15th century) pathetic (1590s)), repressed (late 14th century), alpha wolf (alpha male was in use in 1920s but used to describe animals in 1960!), meagerly (1580s), enveloping (late 14th c), erratic (late 14th c) and many more. My favorite is Adrenaline, which was coined as a trademark name in 1901, so how could the character say, "Adrenaline and heat rushed through my veins" on p. 15? She only missed the use of veins by a few decades, though.

The diction and syntax of some sentences made me wince. Here's one: "I flinched as he pinched one of my red locks between his fingers and let it fall back over my shoulder."

Creative dialogue tags (which serious writers ought to avoid) abounded:
“I know who you are,” he hissed. . .  (You can only hiss s sounds.)
“I’m not a witch,” I defended. . . . (Oh, dear. Defended?)
“There didn’t use ta be this much snow in England,” Hazella complained. (The reader can tell she's complaining without having to be told.)

I was confused by some of the imagery. How would a poor girl in a small inland village know what "golden sand on a sunny beach"(p. 9) feels like? Was she well-travelled? Or "sheets of emerald silk" (p. 32)? The silk-weaving industry in England wasn't established until the mid-fifteenth century, so how could she know? Magic powers, perhaps? 

Much description was overdone (think purple prose) and sometimes used similes that didn't quite fit. I won't quote the passages here. You can read them on Smashwords.

Perhaps the writing improves in subsequent chapters; I don't know. But if you're a fan of The Eye of Argon, you will likely love this book. 

Oh, I should mention—there's a coloring book based on the series! And it's available in several ebook formats. (If you buy it for your kids, I recommend you make them use washable crayons, because magic markers could really mess up your iPad's screen.)

Advice for any writer (or publicist/book manager/blog tour assistant/whatever) soliciting a review: Know to whom you're sending your request. Don't email requests to strangers who aren't interested in your genre. If your book seems in need of extensive editing, a former English teacher will certainly notice. Be careful if you ask me to promote you or your goods or services on this blog. I just might do it—but not the way you expect. 

Unless you include pictures of cute kitties. 


Really cute kitties.
~



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Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Out of the Fog

On Tuesday, I went to Blacksburg to be a guest speaker at Virginia Tech's Creative Learning Academy for Senior Scholars. The CLA was at Warm Hearth Village's community center.

The Community Center at Warm Hearth Village

One of my favorite authors, Sharyn McCrumb, had recommended me to Sam Linkous, one of the directors of the CLA. I decided to speak about the sources of my inspiration and read a bit from some of my books.

Tuesday morning was shrouded in fog so thick I couldn't see very far ahead of me. This made me dread traveling the I-81. Would I make it to Blacksburg? I started out in my faithful PT. I don't have a GPS, so this is how I knew where I was going:


I didn't take any pictures of the fog (It's white; that's all you need to know), but—as I headed west—the rising sun burned some of it off. 


Fog still hung low on the mountains, though.



When I arrived in Roanoke, the fog was back.


However, by the time I reached Interstate, I was pretty much out of the fog. The fog was long gone by the time I arrived at Warm Hearth.


The meeting room at the center was very nice. It had a spectacular ceiling, made from wood that was harvested from the property by Jason Rutledge of Floyd County who logs with horses.


There were some lovely paintings on the wall. Below, I'm standing in front of a portion of one.


Since my claim to fame is being an internationally-ranked bad writer, I read some of my winning Bulwer-Lytton sentences, such as my 2008 Vile Pun winner: 
Vowing revenge on his English teacher for making him memorize Wordsworth's "Intimations of Immortality," Warren decided to pour sugar in her gas tank, but he inadvertently grabbed a sugar substitute so it was actually Splenda in the gas.
 . . . my 1996 Worst Western Winner:
Following the unfortunate bucking of his horse when it was startled by the posse's shots, Tex--who now lay in a disheveled heap in the sagebrush--pushed back his sweat-stained Stetson from one deep-set eye, spat a stream of tobacco juice at the nearest cactus, and reflected momentarily that the men approaching him with ropes probably weren't just out for a skip, and--if they were--his freshly broken ankle would have to cause him to decline any entreaties to join them.
. . . and my 1999 dishonarable mention:
"Well, Mummy," replied little Felicity in response to her mother's chiding, "I know for a fact you are lying to me and that I was not left on the doorstep by gypsies, as you are fond of telling me, for gypsies are not in the habit of abandoning infants on the twentieth floor of New York apartment houses, and furthermore there is absolutely no room on the street for them to park their horse and wagon, so--when you are old and in need of custodial care--we shall then see who has the last laugh as I abandon you in a substandard adult care facility."
 While I was in my bad writing mode, I read some examples of "Peevish Advice" and told how I got inspiration for that (mainly suggestions from people in my writers group, folks who ran into me at Kroger, etc.).

Several years ago, I had written an essay, "Out of the Fog," that explained where I got ideas. It appeared in Cup of Comfort for Writers in 2008, so it's a bit dated now. But it did tell some of the sources of my inspiration, so I read it.



Out of the Fog

“Where do you get your ideas?” 
Does the girl in the back row really want to know, or did her teacher assign a certain number of questions that students must ask me, the visiting writer? The teacher looks at me. Hope shines from her eyes. Will I enlighten her students by giving them The Right Answer—that I dutifully sit at my desk for an hour and free-write onto a yellow legal pad until I perfect my ideas that I then neatly organize into appropriate file-folders? 
Most teachers love the idea of freewriting and organization. They hate that I tell their students free-writing is a waste of time and that I’m disorganized.
I want to tell the class that I don’t get ideas. Ideas get me. Instead, I describe how I write.
 “I compose directly onto my computer,” I tell them. “Of my three computers, the eMac is my favorite. I like its sleek whiteness—like an empty page waiting to be filled. The white keys require so little pressure, the delete key removes evidence of my mistakes, the 17-inch screen is easy to see through my bifocals.” 
The students laugh. Bifocals aren’t yet part of their reality. 
“My eMac, solid and substantial, sits on my cluttered desk in my equally cluttered study.”
 The teacher smiles at my alliteration. “Solid and substantial” sounds so writerish
“Some writers work best in an environment devoid of clutter and animals; I am not one of those writers. Cats nap on my cluttered desk.” Digressing, I tell them about my six cats.
The students nod. Teenagers are not strangers to clutter or pets.
“Some say that a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind.” I glance at the teacher’s desk. The few papers on it are neatly stacked. “One thing a writer needs is a cluttered mind—one so brimming over with ideas that she has plenty to pick and choose from.” 
The teacher cringes, but I continue. “I never wonder what I can write about. Instead, I wonder what idea I will work on next. An idea always claws its way to the top of the heap that is both my desktop and my imagination. If that idea doesn’t grab me, another lurks beneath it.” 
A few students lean forward. Maybe I’m saying something worth listening to. At least I’m not telling them to free-write. And I use technology—three computers!
“From my study window, I can see the Blue Ridge Mountains in the distance. They’re beyond the hill beyond the trees beyond the cornfield across the road. The view from my study window reflects what a writer ought to have: a series of beyonds. Just beyond one idea is another.” 
A few students look out the classroom window. They see the houses across the street. 
“A writer should be able to see into the distance,” I tell them. “Or at least know what is out there. On a clear day, I can see the Peaks of Otter. On a foggy day, I still know they’re there. The same with ideas—somewhere in the fog and the clutter, ideas are out there.”
I figure I should tell how I structure my stories. Teachers like that.
“Usually I write the ending to a story first. I like to see where I’m going. Writer Lee Smith says that she writes her last line first and tapes it up where she can see it. I type mine so I can see it. Whenever I open a blank document, I stare at the shiny white page on the shiny white eMac’s screen: all that empty white space—like fog.” 
The students nod. Some haven’t the foggiest idea of who Lee Smith is.
“Then I type my last line. My words shimmer on the screen. The fog lifts. I can see where I’m going. Some writers carefully plot their stories and structure every minute detail. They’re probably the ones who, before they take a trip, peruse the roadmap and carefully plot their route along the fastest and shortest route to their destination— usually the Interstate. I don’t do this. I like to explore the back roads and admire the scenery. As long as I know my destination, I don’t mind an occasional wrong turn. I can always turn around.” 
Great! the teacher probably thinks. This writer hasn’t the foggiest idea what she’s talking about.
I plunge ahead. “Some writers might say, ‘Oh, but I want my story to reflect life! In life, we don’t know where we’re going to end!’ But we do know exactly where we’ll end.” 
I pause for dramatic effect. Let it sink in that I’m talking about death. 
“Everyone has the same ending. The only difference is how we get there. I know my destination, and I want to get there in the most interesting way.” 
A few nod their agreement. I tell them how I don’t do all of my writing in my study—how most of my writing takes place in my head while I’m doing something else. I tell them I’ve heard a couple of speakers at writing conferences say that a writer should sit down at the computer everyday and wait for an idea to come. “ ‘Put your butt in the chair!’ I heard one spokeswoman at a conference declare.” 
The kids giggle. I said the word “butt” out loud right in the classroom.
“My best ideas come while I’m doing something else,” I tell them, “so I haul my derriere out of the chair and do something else—laundry, vacuuming, playing with cats, or walking with my dogs—until I get an idea. Sometimes I take my iBook a couple of miles down the road to my farm. While my dogs run through the woods, I perch on the tailgate of my old Dodge truck and write. A writer can go where the action is. Sometimes a writer can even join the action—or doggedly follow a trail of thought or bat ideas around like a playful cat.” 
Did the teacher notice my simile? 
 “Once in a while, I use my old iMac in the den. While I work at the iMac, Buford the deaf cat sleeps on top of the computer amoire. He doesn’t like anything to creep up on him, so he sleeps high. Dylan, my smallest black cat, drapes himself over the iMac. He puts his front leg through the handle so he doesn’t slide off. Sometimes I have to move his tail so I can see what I’ve written. Cats are a great audience. They never find fault with anything I write.” 
The students laugh. The teacher smiles a little.
“At the iMac, I can look out sideways out the back door to the pasture and watch my horses graze. My view is limited—a line of trees, the edge of the barn, and two elderly mares.” 
Most of the students—even a few on the back row—are listening now. 
“Sometimes a writer needs a limited view, a narrow focus. Sometimes a sidewise glance is what I need to get a fresh idea. Sometimes, like Dylan, I hang onto an idea so I don’t slip away from it. Sometimes, like Buford, I don’t let outside ideas creep up on me. Sometimes, like my mares, my imagination grazes.”
I want to tell them how my horses will unroll a round bale of hay. They’ll paw and push at it until it yields to their efforts and unrolls all over the pasture. Then they’ll eat the good stuff from the middle. I want to use the unrolling of the hay as a metaphor for unrolling an idea—how the good stuff is in the middle and how you can’t see it from the outside—but time is running out. Several students glance at the clock. I do too. 
I wrap it up: “Each computer gives me a different viewpoint, a different approach. A writer, I’ve decided, can’t have too many computers—or too many viewpoints.” 
Yeah, yeah, the kids think. Hurry up so we can go.
I speak faster. “Years ago, I believed that ideas had to flow from my brain, down my arm, into my fingertips and out my pen onto a yellow legal pad. Then, after much crossing out and revising, I’d bang away on my typewriter until the idea popped out onto paper. What a waste of time! Now, ideas—like electric currents—flow from brain to fingertips to screen. I can move words, sentences, paragraphs; I can insert and delete. Quick as a cat, I can change the whole look of my manuscript in seconds. I can luxuriate in words that appear before my eyes almost as fast as they appear in my mind.” 
I look at the teacher. She nods slightly and points to the clock. 
“Where do I get ideas?” Seconds before the bell rings, I give my answer: “All sorts of places.” 
***

I also told about the inspiration for my novels, Stuck and Patches on the Same Quilt. The audience was wonderful, and I chatted with some of them when I sold and signed books after the session.

Meanwhile, when I arrived home, I discovered that my husband had left open the deck door so the cats could go out, and Tanner (the only housecat) had gotten out while dozens of stink bugs had gotten in. Not far from the deck, I managed to find—and rescue—a frightened Tanner, who was about to be beaten up by Jim-Bob and George while the other cat watched because he had invaded their territory. I managed to get Tanner inside before a bushed-up Jim-Bob jumped him, and I got the stinkbugs vacuumed up—well, most of them. Thank goodness, Chloe and Dylan did not take advantage of the open door to implement their "catch and release" program for insects and small mammals. At least I haven't found any evidence of any catches and releases in the house—yet.
~




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Monday, April 29, 2013

E-book Stuck

My novel Stuck is finally available as a Kindle e-book. Here's how it looks compared to the paperback, which was published by Cedar Creek two years ago.


Little Chloe doesn't seem too impressed. I think she was more excited when the box of author copies arrived two years ago.


On Saturday night, I'd uploaded the file to Kindle and previewed how it looked on some simulated devices, such as the old black and white Kindle. .  . 


. . . an iPhone. . .


. . . and a Kindle Fire.


This is how the Table of Contents looks on the Fire . . . 


. . . and how part of Chapter 1 looks on the Fire.


The e-book version of Stuck differs a bit from the print because it doesn't have the chapter-by-chapter study guide that the paperback has. But, at only $2.99, the e-book is considerably less expensive.

You can buy it here.
~


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Friday, April 26, 2013

Lion's Testicles

Bet the title of this post caught your interest!

Actually it's part of the title of a book I recently read: Learning to Play With a Lion's Testicles: Unexpected Gifts from the Animals of Africa, by Melissa Haynes. In Africa, the term "playing with a lion's testicles" means to take foolhardy chances or to do something stupid.

Published in March 2013 by Behler Publications, the book is a first-person account of the author's coming to terms with her mother's death while volunteering on a game preserve in South Africa. Haynes skillfully moves back and forth between events leading to her mother's death and her experiences in Africa. Both were traumatic.


I have limited experience with lions (Lion Country Safari in Florida in 1969), but I share my home with numerous lion-like critters. Some of them were interested in the book.


Jim-Bob was the first to have a look. Perhaps he was channeling his inner lion.


Jim-Bob certainly liked the cover.


I liked what was beyond the cover—the author's journey through her grief and her quest for meaning in her life. From the Behler Publications site, here's the summary: 

Melissa, an exhausted executive from the city seeks meaning and purpose from her work, and volunteers for a Big Five conservation project in South Africa.  Her boss, an over-zealous ranger, nicknamed the Drill Sergeant, has no patience for city folk, especially if they're women, and tries to send her packing on day one. But Melissa stands her ground with grit and determination, however shaky it may be.
 Conflict soon sets the pace with a cast filled with predatory cats, violent elephants, and an on-going battle of wits with the Drill Sergeant. Even Mother Nature pounds the reserve with the worst storm in a century. But the most enduring and profound conflict is the internal battle going on within Melissa, as she tries to come to terms with the guilt surrounding her mother's death. When death grips the game reserve, it is the very animals Melissa has come to save that end up saving her.
 For the reader who has ever dreamed of going to Africa or knows the pain of loss and guilt, LEARNING TO PLAY WITH A LION’S TESTICLES will fill your soul. 

The book is indeed  loaded with conflict: Melissa Haynes' guilt over not being there when her mother died, the daily conflicts with her supervisor (the "drill sergeant"), her conflict with a harsh and dangerous environment, her fear of staying alone in her tent at night while she hears growls in the darkness, her conflict with Kittibon the elephant who flings dung and branches at her, the amorous rhino with raging hormones, the lions, etc.

In some cases, she took dangerous chances (hence the title) in order to prove to the "drill sergeant" that she could do the jobs assigned her—and to prove to herself that she could do them. While there were a few times that I thought she wouldn't make it out alive, I reminded myself that, after all, she did survive to write the book.

One of the things I especially liked about this book is that Haynes' writing style is up-close and personal—not detached and after the fact. She comes across as wonderfully human, flaws and all. Plus, as a confirmed animal-lover, I enjoyed reading about the wild critters on their home turf. 

I highly recommend this book. Any woman who has endured the death of her mother (the book arrived on the 9th anniversary of my mother's funeral) or who has had doubts about whether or not she could make it through life's challenges would enjoy this book.

Tanner contemplated the cover, but he wasn't as intrigued as Jim-Bob. Of course, Tanner is young yet and hasn't developed his tastes in reading. 


Tanner decided that, instead of reading a tale about lions and other wild critters, he'd rather play with Eddie-Puss's tail.


Blatant promo here: One of the reasons I liked this book so much is that it deals with the same themes as my middle grade novel, Stuck—coming to terms with grief over a mother's death and coming to terms with challenges in life.  Stuck, published in 2011 by Cedar Creek Publishing, is currently available in print and as an e-book.
~

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