Peevish Pen: Record Straightening

by Jim-Bob

(Olivia's son, and a hard-working cat)

I'm here to set the record straight. Tanner, who blogged Saturday, is not a nice kitty. He would have you believe that he does housework, is incredibly cute, etc.—but he has been misleading the readers of this blog. Oh, he would have you think he is my best buddy.

But he's not! After I work dawn to dusk securing the pasture perimeter of the property, I want to come inside, have a nice dinner, and maybe relax on Mommy's desk for a while.

I no sooner get comfortable than Tanner appears. I try to be nice to him since he's still fairly new here (for you new readers, I should make you aware that unlike myself, who was born on this place, Tanner was a dumpster drop-off).

But, no matter how nice I am to him, he attacks me. Me—the newly voted-in head honcho cat now that Eddie-Puss has cut back on his cat-work responsibilities. The young whippersnapper has no respect for authority.

I try to ignore the little upstart, but he keeps pestering me.

He'll pretend that he just wants to nap with me, but he has ulterior motives. He's trying to take over!

The other day, for instance, it was all his fault that Mommy's office was trashed. He jumped me, and I let him have it. We—er, he— knocked Mommy's laptop onto the floor (fortunately, it was in a padded case, so it wasn't damaged), hurled to the floor a big rock that Mommy uses as a paperweight (fortunately, it didn't land on the laptop), and scattered papers everywhere. I tried to explain to him the error of his ways.