Splendor in the Grass? Not Exactly . . .

Brrrr! This morning was so cold, I had to break through a half-inch of ice in the dog buckets and a quarter inch in the horse tubs.

Despite last night's temperatures in the 20s, the grass is still green—and the greenest, lushest, most luxuriant grass on our whole place is in the kennel. What's the secret? Organic fertilizer! My husband calls it "Poupon DeLawn," a term he heard on Car Talk.


Yep, the places the dogs "go" is not only green but also thick and lush. I wonder why folks who walk dogs in public parks are expected to pick up after their pooches, and why the park maintenance people put down chemical fertilizer to make the grass green? Wouldn't it be easier and cheaper and less toxic to just let the dogs do the job?

Now, if you'd like thick, lush green grass in your yard, I'd be more than happy to rent you a border collie, a mixed retriever, a catahoula, a mixed sheltie, and a beagle—or any combination thereof. Prices are negotiable. (Travel expenses extra. Not responsible for teeth marks on shrubbery or lawn furniture.)

Never underestimate the power of poochie poop—er, Poupon DeLawn.

Redneck Update: This evening, while I was refilling the birdfeeder, Mr. Redneck walked by carrying a camcorder. I don't think he took videos of me, and at least he stayed on the opposite side of the road. I am resisting the urge to use the term "Poupon DeRoad."