The Scam Goes On

Even though my dog Jack shuffled off this mortal coil last May, he still gets lots of email. Most is from Poetry.com, the infamous International Library of Poetry, which just about everybody knows—or should know—is a scam. This came day before yesterday:

A personal note from the desk of:
Howard Ely, Managing Editor

Dear Jack,

Not long ago, our Editors reviewed the thousands of submissions entered in our International Open Amateur Poetry Contest, and they awarded your poem the prestigious Editor's Choice Award. This is an honor awarded to only 12% of the submissions we receive. Now that the first round of the judging process is complete, your poem will enter the next level of judging, becoming eligible for the $10,000 Annual Grand Prize that will be awarded in January 2008. We wish you the best of luck with this next phase of the contest.

Jack Mushkeau Has Been Selected
As An Editor's Choice Award Recipient!

Since we announced the names of the winners, many recipients have contacted me and requested a way to display their achievement; therefore, I put our artists and designers to work. We were able to create our most exquisite and distinguished wall plaque ever. This year, we are offering this limited edition wall plaque commemorating your achievement as an Editor's Choice Award recipient. Each certificate is numbered, signed, and mounted on a solid maple plaque. This beautiful display piece truly honors your accomplishment!

Jack Mushkeau

As an Editor's Choice Award winner, we're sure you'll want to improve your craft and further your involvement in poetry. There's no better way to do that than by joining the International Society of Poets (ISP), the largest poetry organization in the world. As a member of the ISP, you'll receive a quarterly magazine filled with articles, contests, and lots of poetry. In addition, you will be part of an organization that promotes PEACE—Poetry, Education, Accomplishment, Charity, and Equality. Please join the thousands of members who have submitted poetry, including Archbishop Desmond Tutu, former U.S. President Bill Clinton, and the late "Man in Black," Johnny Cash. Go here for membership details.

The plaque and membership are individually valued at $135.00, but today you can order them together for $75.00 (plus $14.00 shipping & handling), which is a $60.00 discount off the regular retail price. Please take the time to review the benefits of becoming a member of the International Society of Poets and join today. We'll send your Editor's Choice Award plaque and membership package immediately upon your acceptance of this offer.

Sincerely,
Howard Ely

P.S. If you are not completely satisfied, we offer a 100% money back guarantee. Simply return your materials within 90 days of delivery for a full refund.

Yeah, right. I'll bet no one ever sees that money again. Jack also received this one yesterday:

Forward This Email To All Of Your Family And Friends!

Dear Family and Friends,

I am in the middle of a great online poetry competition. I have the chance to win some great prizes, including an iPod. I really want to win, and all I need are votes from my family and friends. You simply need to click on a link, read my poem, and rate it. If I get enough votes, I win, it’s that easy! Please use the link below to vote for my poem, “Wand'ring.” Please forward this to anyone else you know that could help me out. You can also use the link below on your Facebook or MySpace page to help me receive even more votes. This is a great way to help me share my poetry with the world!

Thanks very much for your vote. I will keep you posted if I win. Wish me luck!

Best regards,
Jack Mushkeau

Use This Link To Vote For Me:
http://www.poetry.com/voteforme/poemvote1.asp?PID=10782770

So, if you want to help a deceased mixed retriever win an iPod, please click the above link and vote for his poem. Only “Wand’ring” doesn’t appear; Jack’s other poem does. Here it is, copied directly from the website, with the incorrect colon and all:

Wolflings
by: Jack Mushkeau

A howl!
Really a growl
For a snarl,
As gnarled nose
Reaches high,
Flings sound awry
And far. Shows
Rousing cries-
Foul.

Wolves wend wayward
Over tedious tundra
On their journey
Far and wide.

Copyright ©2007 Jack Mushkeau

C’mon. Click & vote. He's dying to win an iPod.

Er, the previous statement would be redundant, wouldn't it?

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