Peevish Pen

Ruminations on reading, writing, rural living, retirement, aging—and sometimes cats. And maybe a border collie or other critters.

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Location: Rural Virginia, United States

I'm an elderly retired teacher who writes. Among my books are Ferradiddledumday (Appalachian version of the Rumpelstiltskin story), Stuck (middle grade paranormal novel), Patches on the Same Quilt (novel set in Franklin County, VA), Them That Go (an Appalachian novel), Miracle of the Concrete Jesus & Other Stories, and several Kindle ebooks.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

You Better Watch Out!

Santa Claus cartoon
Santa Claus is coming tonight. I have my suspicions about this guy. I don’t think it’s a good idea to let him in. Here’s why:

  • He’s a male chauvinist. Mrs. Claus is stuck at home doing the household chores while he gallivants all over. He never takes her out. She apparently has never had her own career. What’s with that?
  • He exploits his workers. Those elves have to work around the clock in his sweatshop. Do they even get paid? What benefits do they get? Have you ever heard of a 401K for elves? I didn’t think so?
  • He encourages bullying. Take the case of Rudolph, for example. The other reindeer made fun of poor Rudy’s physical defect and Santa did nothing about it.
  • He’s an opportunist who thinks nothing of exploiting others for personal gain—Rudolph, for example. And the elves.
  • He’s manipulative (the naughty and nice list) and he doesn't want you to express your emotions ("You better not cry, you better not pout"). Could his jolly demeanor actually conceal a passive-aggressive personality?

Yeah, Santa looks harmless enough and he brings all that stuff. But when he comes down your chimney, how do you know he isn’t just casing the joint? Are those gloves part of his outfit, or is the real reason for wearing them so he won't leave fingerprints?

But, if you're the sort who welcomes strangers into your house—while you're sleeping, no less!—then go for it. If he leaves you some good stuff, you might just profit from his visit.

But, still, you better watch out!

Merry Christmas!

Free Santa clipart from the Toonworkshop.



Blogger Amy Hanek said...

As suspicious this big guy may seem, he's been hiding out in Wal-mart cleaning bathrooms. And he was nice enough to postpone cleaning the ladies bathroom to let my sister-in-law and I in. We really had to go.

His nametag said, "Jerry," but I know it was Santa.

12:41 PM  
Blogger CountryDew said...

Kinda scary, that!

Merry Christmas!

1:01 PM  
Blogger Debi Kelly Van Cleave said...

Now that you mention it, he probably wears a ski mask.

9:45 PM  

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